1. Why did Rob Lowe take this role? Did the economic downturn affect him very badly? Did he lose a bet? How much did he get paid for this role? Does he love playing sociopaths? Did he miss his television movie roots?

1a. Sam Seaborn? What happened to you?

1b. Rob Lowe really is unnaturally attractive, isn’t he?

1c. I may have already seen this movie three times.

2. What accent was Lowe channeling? It’s a cross between Minnesota and Maine with a soupçon of Chicago for good measure.

3. Rob Lowe’s hair, that horrifying moustache, the gut, the overall Chester/Molester vibe, my goodness–he sure committed to the role, didn’t he? I was uncomfortable and creeped out for the DURATION.

4. The script. Honestly. It’s a pastiche of every true life, husband killed his wife Lifetime movie ever. They literally took about three lines from each film in the oeuvre and mashed them together to create this abomination of a script. It was so exploitative and manipulative and also, according to everyone on all sides of the matter, completely inaccurate.

4a. And yet, the movie was watchable like a motherfucker.

4b. There was a truly repulsive scene where Drew was watching Stacy P. mow the lawn from his police cruiser while talking to his partner about how his young wife was an open flower, luring men in with her scent. It was skeevy and gross in every possible way, particularly because of Drew’s moustache and that cray cray accent. I couldn’t help but consider the sick bastard who came up with that particularly disgusting line. It felt moist and I do not like the word moist.

5.  This movie could have easily been called Men Who Hate Women II, another sequel to Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. At one point Drew shoves Stacy into a television during a party, and her BFF walks in on the scuffle. Drew skulks away and Stacy cheerfully AND sarcastically announces, “Other than my husband just shoving me into the television, I’m fine,” and the BFF just shakes her head sadly. I’m 150% sure my BFF would have punched that mofo in the mouth and taken other forms of immediate action. I did not understand the scene where they casually shrugged off the incident like, eh, domestic violence, it’s what’s for dinner.

6. The supporting cast really committed, too. Seriously, a bunch of professionals showed up to this movie. Tom Cruise’s creepy cousin from Lost is in the movie. Kaley Cuoco, Catherine Dent, why? They are good actresses. Everyone involved soldiered right through the terribleness and acted as if they were working with a credible production.

7. ROB LOWE.

8. Lifetime is completely, utterly without shame. In the dictionary, under the word shameless, you should see this:

9. Even though the screenplay for this movie is clearly plucked right out of a steaming pile of BS, Drew Peterson is obviously a deranged, very bad man. He killed those women and if he were free, he would kill again. How did that guy get four women to marry him? He must be… endowed.

10. Poor Stacy Peterson. I wonder what happened to her. It’s all so very sad, particularly for her family, her children, her friends.

11. Why do we watch these movies? What is so compelling about these glorified reenactments of tragic events that often come at the expense of women? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

Other notes:

1. New grocery store opening, big excitement. Seriously, grand opening and whatnot. Pictures? Hell yes I’m going to take pictures. Also, I really need some lettuce and the store has been out for about a week because of the move to the new store.

2. If you are gleeful Paula Deen has diabetes, please reevaluate the condition of your soul, just a little bit. Or a lot.

3. Books you must read as soon as you can: Treasure Island!!! by Sara Levine (funny), Forgotten Country by Catherine Chung (stunning), Edinburgh by Alexander Chee (stunning), The Sovereignties of Invention by Matthew Battles (elegant), and Wild by Cheryl Strayed (a monument). Reviews forthcoming for four of these books.

4. I am developing a low-grade obsession with Caitlin Flanagan. She was off my radar and then BLIP, she was all the way on it. She’s like… Evil June Cleaver, with a pearl and cashmere sweater set and a nice laptop. I am truly, anthropologically fascinated by her. I also love how she casually litters her writing with ample evidence of her wealth and privilege. It’s really impressive. If I had an evil Republican, anti-feminist twin, Flanagan would be her spirit animal.

5. The “Republicans” and their two debates a week strategy… If it wasn’t really happening, I would think it was an elaborate ruse on the part of The Daily Show or Colbert Report. My favorite part of the 191st debate tonight was Mitt Romney’s hilarious, hilarious self-deportation idea. Let’s also self-tax and self-heal ourselves.

6. A gorgeous essay on female friendships. This moved me profoundly. I have really great female friends. This has not always been the case but in the past six years or so, I’ve made friends who are unconditional in their love and support, and the affection is mutual. My grad school BFFs and I still keep in touch and email and text and gossip and commiserate and it’s wonderful because we have this shared experience that will ensure we stay friends forever.  I also have a Best Friend who is the best friend I have ever had and ever hoped to have. Every day I think, “Thank god we found each other.” We’re like two sides of the same coin–different but part of the same thing. Every day I literally think, “How do I thank this person for being my truest friend?” I have no earthly idea but some day, I will find the answer.

7. Is there a more terrifying word than retreat particularly within a professional context?

8. What do I read at Literary Death Match? I am having palpitations. I need to get my anxiety under control because I might pass out at the venue.

8a. TIMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

9. My fiction babies this semester are outstanding. All three classes are engaging and fun and I’m learning a lot from my students.

10. There’s some unspoken rule about a list requiring ten or more items, but I do also have a tenth thing to tell you. I was thinking about that movie that’s coming out soon, Act of Valor, that is, essentially, a real life commercial for the military. Soldiers are the actors! This is a thing that is actually happening.